Trust your training, trust your equipment, do the next step.
Being a soldier in the Army, taught me who I am, Warrior Goddess as I know her to be the personification of Persistence.
Strategically thinking your way into the next phase. Ask any warrior worth their salt in history what is necessary to win the battle, the very first answer is STRATEGY: Strategy for organization, strategy for weaponization, strategy for funding, strategy for preparedness, and strategy for execution. Next is identifying order: this happens, then this happens, and if this or that happens, we can choose. And there is freedom in having a choice and using it. And there’s a responsibility in having the power to enforce your will and make it so. RECOGNIZE YOUR POWER because the responsibility is yours.
When I was a soldier in basic training there was a ropes course you must complete in order to get to the next phase of training. It was a terrifyingly large structure from an 18 yr old’s limited perspective. And having even less exposure to dangerous things having been raised in a castle of religious order, I was excited to be the first in my company to touch the giant beastie that lay before us. There were many challenging steps, but our Drill Instructors had just shown that it in fact could be done with grace and joy. I was the first and the last of us training that day to touch the beast of Natural Fear.
Interesting note: The only fear we are born with is the fear of falling (from being dropped or from exposure to dangerous edges and heights of all kinds. That’s a trust in what’s holding us in safety and a trust in what we think we know about the risk ahead. Keep this in mind.
So the highlights of the battles that happened along the way that day that I fought Natural Fear, came from falling no less than 3 times, and when you fall, you go back to the beginning. Great. So, starting again means I’ve done this part before, I can certainly do that again, strategy for the next part that I need to conquer is to identify the point of failure and ask for what I need, advice or instruction, specifically from those who do it in flow.
They have found the joy in doing this action that causes me fear, what do they do? They trust their training and they trust their equipment. Checklist done. Now figuring HOW? Why are they so free, look at what is keeping them safe; nets in places, harnesses in others, and a human with eyes on them at all times. Ok, so what’s the worst that happens? I fall… Well, I just fell and that wasn’t so bad. And I just have to get back up, up off the mat and feet on the ground first, up off the ground and back to my place of forward progress. Ready myself, set my intention and go to the step in front of me, hand over hand, together, hand over hand, together, next, next, next, next, next, and pause to ask the sage wisdom of the hedonist who takes pleasure in this step here. Ooooohhhhhhh, thanks, next strategy found, and I begin again. Up to the knee and forward, Up to the knee and forward. Next, ground! I MADE IT. That strategy worked! Next challenge.
FIRST ASK THE SAGE HEDONIST. Excellent, and I’m in full on, but I fall, again! And people are passing me on the course now, more than half the company by this point I’m sure, and down I go again. Back to the starting line means getting off the safety net, feet on the ground, next to the starting line (not to the back of the line – keeping momentum of success and the adrenalin of the challenge always next). And back to my last place of forward progress. This continues, until I am at the last of the company challenging the beasty of Natural Fear – at the last challenge of repelling down the wall in a harness with no net below. Trust my training. I saw it done, everyone else has done it and is back in formation. I am the last and all eyes of the formation are on me, again, ass in the air in a harness this time and Fear at its last effort. Trust the equipment. How does this work? Why will it support me? What is the worst that happens? Who is there if the worst happens? Everyone! EVERYONE WILL SEE… but everyone is also there to help. They want to see me succeed because they are my tribe. I belong here. I am emotionally safe. Next, the harness, the gears, the rigging, my weight… test it out when I know my feet are able to come back… Sit back, full weight… breathe, assess, yes this is good, next my actions, just have to be the next step leaning back parallel to the ground not seeing how close I am to where I need to go. I’m blind. But I am walking in faith that my rigging will work if I do my job on the next step, I’ll get there. I have no idea how many steps away, but it is a repetitive flow of tension, step, adjust, tension, step, adjust, tension, step, adjust until suddenly my ass was on the ground. It was the inevitable outcome to be there, ass to the ground, the question is if it would be a kiss or a slap. I control how I got there? This time, yes by using persistence as my strategy!
Persistence says it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, it only matters that you get back up.
We loaded up and we went back to the barracks. I later found I’d sustained a fracture to my pelvis which was presumed to have occurred between all of the falls and I was sent to convalesce and heal, giving me time to consider all I had experienced. I realized how I was received socially by my peers really depended on how I was handling being the very last to finish myself. I chose to handle it with grace saying I proved to be among the most persistent of the company and thank you for recognizing my efforts to practice persistence.
(Persistence was again necessary when I Erased a Regret by learning SCUBA diving… but that’s another story.)
This story jumps forward two decades or so when I am at the LaGrange Point Woods where there is an amazing ropes course with a zipline rather than a repelling wall. I take my followers here to learn this same lesson of tackling Natural Fear. We begin with a lesson of how the cable and rigging system works with the harness. There are no nets here. This is a zipline course, after all. Tension of the cable and strength of the harness are protecting them from falling. Let’s begin to practice the rigging, how does the mechanism work? What is my action necessary to keep myself safe? Ok, up the ladder they go to the platform of the new playground. There are four paths, each gettin harder and harder, meaning you need to use more strategy and you must be taller and stronger at each course. As The Warrior Goddess of Hedonism, I want the pure pleasure to thrill them with this endeavor so I tell them the lesson I learned becoming a warrior goddess from the start.
Now they can test to see if what I say is true, and they will find freedom and bliss in the flow as it becomes a game. But it begins with the test… go out a few steps, stop, and sit down. Now lift both feet. Did you do it? Yes! Next is to stretch all around. How does the balance of this rigging work, I don’t want anyone to end up hanging upside down 40 feet in the woods! (which is the worst that can happen) So check out what is possible while you are still feeling safe. This is training, my dearest Legends.
Interesting Goddess note: This strategy also works in the safety of the dressing room. Always check to see where something is at risk of an unintentional revealing behind-the-scenes scene. What movements can I make? Can I sit in which ways, what happens if I’m not sitting perfectly, what shows, what if I bend over and touch my toes? How far can I go… Depends on why I want to bend over, now doesn’t it.😉 Ahhem…
Back to training, step one, to trust your equipment you must test your equipment’s limits to stay in balance and flow in the next step. Step two, trust your training. You’ve never done this exact thing, but you do know how to walk in a straight line and you know how to balance on a curb, so let’s start there. One foot in front of the other, arms out like wings to balance you. They couldn’t do it. They want to trust what they saw by holding on close to the rigging and yet feeling very unstable in doing so. It’s sometimes too hard to imagine at first extending their arms. So, back to step one… trusting the stability of the equipment since that’s what they are clinging to. Let’s discover how this works again now with the test of what you are fearful – sit, arms out to find your balance, relax your belly, breathe, fortify your core strength, and arms around your knees, lift up like a cannonball… and guess what, you didn’t fall! Yes, success! Next, It’s just you and Natural Fear and it will take as long as it takes but by the end of the day they were sprinting from tree to tree across these wooden patch pathways many feet in the air unafraid of Natural Fear. Battle one, won. Stack up those successes.
When have you faced Natural Fear and won? Do it! It’s liberating. You can say yes to so much more, and still have the freedom to choose to take the risk or not when you know the worst that can happen. This is part of consent. Your willingness to say yes to the next step, first requires you to say “No, until you know”. So let’s next discover the consent to the playground of our own bodies of pleasure. The Sacred Slut Meditation…
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